The simple answer is of course, because short of walking up and punching a stranger in the face its a little hard to hurt those who have no stake in our lives.
But seriously if we don't have to worry about the whole world and we just have to focus on those people who we love then why is it that we still seem to screw up time and time again. Here is a little insight from my own experience... People have a sin nature and whether or not you believe in God, allah, or the tree growing in your back yard, you too are infected with this disease. Problem is there is no cure, no permanent fix, it is a never ending constant battle to resist and do what you know to be right. Don't get me wrong Christ died so that our sins could be forgiven, because the Good Lord knew that we would all fall short, but I know it must hurt him just as it hurts everyone else who is so involved in our lives.
Okay so I doesn't take a psychologist or a psychiatrist to figure out that I screwed up, yet again. But whats really killing me is not the fact that I goofed up and had to go before the Lord and ask for his forgiveness. I have learned to deal with my mistakes and dissapointments long ago, but now its not all about me. There is someone else in my life, someone who I'm supposed to be looking out for. Someone who I'm supposed to be showing that I can be the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. And that means I have a responsibility to try and do good both for her and to her. That means that although there may be things I cannot protect her against (MAY... I'm not yet giving up on that one) the absolute very least I can do is not cause her to hurt because of me.
Obviously its a little too late for that, because she IS hurt, and it IS my fault. But then what do I do? Do I spout off every cliche in the book (it will never happen again I promise, It wasn't my fault, So and so made me do it, etc.). Regardless of whether I really feel that way (the first one) I'm afraid to say something that will cheapen our conversaition, my regret, or our relationship. I want what I say to be my words from my heart and I want her to know that they come from nowhere else. So how do I show her how I really feel... this is my thought. I will apologize every time it comes up because I am truly sorry and I know that no amount of sorries will ever take away her pain, but it will also serve as a reminder to me what is at stake and how preciouse and fragile is the gift we share. I will wake up every day committed to being what I believe it is God wants me to be, what I believe it is she needs me to be, a man you can trust, someone you can talk to and tell all your secrets, a man who will love honor and cherish her all the days of her life, and a man who she can give her heart to and know that it will be well taken care of!
