LOVE is ACTUALLY all around

The time has changed, the mornings bright with sun and the evenings fading before I can even get home from work. The good lord continues to bless me and I must give all glory to his name.

That being said, my persuit of a life of happiness with the woman I love has survived another go round, and as much as it hurts to go through it, we always come out the other side, usually clinging to the only thing we know we can count on, our damnable stubborn love for one another. I can't help it I love this girl, and nearly every waking thought revolves around her. Every time I learn something new I think about how it affects us, everytime I think about tomorrow I think about it in terms of us, and when I do things I think of how we should do them. To put it bluntly my whole being is dedicated to making us a permanent reality. Now if only she weren't a four hundred dollar plane ticket and a four day trip away.

I can't help but smile and enjoy the gift god has given me, its as if i'm in the garden of eden (except without the whole perfect garden and all) and God said Joe you must be lonely and so he caused me to go on a camping trip and pour our my heart and soul so that he could provide me with a partner. Blessed is the name of the Lord God on high!

So Tired of....

For all the faint of heart this is your one and only warning, I'm about to blast everything and everyone... this is your chance to turn back...

Wow am I tired! Not tired like I need a nap, but tired of the way things are going in my life. For starters I am totally writing this at work right now. Why you ask? Because I have had absolutely nothing to do going on three days straight now and besides the fact that it makes the days excruciatingly long and boring, I am feeling totally underutilized, which makes me think that I am either not respected, or simply no one cares. Okay so work sucks, but then there is school. My two day a week respite from having absolutely no life whatsoever has absolutely become the most pathetic excuse for education I have ever heard of. Both my classes suck, both my teachers suck, and I swear that I leave class each day dumber than when I went in. I am seriously hoping to break a leg or something because it would offer some change and excitement from the deep and bottomless pit of absolute mundaness that is currently my life.

Oh yeah and the bright spot that is supposed to give me something to smile about and a reason to want to get up in the morning, be a better man, (pick your cliche and insert it here), has become more of a soft glow of candlelight than the burning blaze I need to keep this relationship going. I know long distance relationships are hard, hell I knew this was going to be extremely difficult. But I never even had the slightest hint of an idea that it could be such a rollersoaster ride of the highest of highs and the deepest soul searching lows. (take a good guess at how I am feeling now) I guess deep down I am really an optimist because I can't just sit here and lambaste my relationship. When its good it really is the most amazing feeling I could have ever imagined, and those days I thank God for bringing her into my life... But, when it hurts it hurts worse than getting the "William Wallace" treatment. I want to be loved, I want to feel like I have worth, and I want to be happy. I am in love and I want that love to provide me with these things. A simple equation sure enough, but then why can't we seem to get it right???

My sole consolation has been the good Lord above who has not abandoned me now matter how desperate I am, who gives me hope when there is none, and who gives me strength when I lean on him. If it weren't for the Lord God on high..... I don't even want to think about it!!

All praise be His!!!